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Thamks to Karin Gustafson and dVerse for the ‘Undercurrents’ prompt. This is my first response to one. Thank you to the online poetry community as a whole for making me feel so welcome and inspiring me to continue writing.


she asked me in

asked me to stay


her skin was soap and fresh flowers

her cup was life’s soil and rain

I knelt before her

drank of her fountain

and tasted Earth’s death and resurrection


she asked me in

asked me to stay


I tested the water

she pushed at my caution until

I pulled at my trunks and


I splashed until I was spent and

we both went to sleep

wet beneath thin clouds of contentment

I had never swam as hard

nor as fast

before her


she never asked

I didn’t stay



Musician, actor, poet, father, reader, human, alien, otherworldly spirit...Derrick J. Hines is and will continue to be until nothing is.

13 responses to “Asked

  1. I love your repeat lines in this.

  2. Under these highly charged erotic circumstances I cannot imagine why she did not ask and you did not stay…but then I am very naive when it comes to undercurrents of the matters of the heart…or maybe that’s it…there’s no heart in it at all….I like this
    lusty thought provoking poem.

  3. ManicDdaily ⋅

    Oh dear–this is very strong and sad, so erotic and then the harsh surprise. Well done. K.

  4. claudia

    oh my goodness…need to open a window..powerful erotic write here with great images, very tastefully done…i think you should’ve stayed anyway…sometimes the action speaks louder than words…just saying…smiles

  5. christyb

    Wow this is a quick glimpse into a relationship that has a surprise ending. Well done Hines, and we are glad you are continuing your time within the poetry community!

  6. A comedy of manners with true feeling thrown in? Whatever, sad and delightful at the same time.

  7. HINES

    Thanks everyone.
    For the record, we slept beneath those thin clouds for a year. We and the contentment dried, the sun shone through, and I got burned. We both did.
    (Not too terribly though, and we’ve healed.)

  8. Such is life. Sometimes every good-bye is gone. At least there were good memories. 🙂

  9. Sheila

    wonderful descriptions and intense cadence in this. nicely written.

  10. fun and frantic and then despondent – all very fine … nicely done

  11. Wow, excellent poem, so glad to have had the privilege of reading it.

  12. Wow. Why didn’t I read this the last time I was here? This is all the more powerful in imagery for what it doesn’t spell out. I really like it. Well done.

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